Fanfiction: A Bakuman Parody
by dragonmage27
Summary: Encouraged by Takagi, Mashiro makes Azuki a promise: if he could become a top fanfic writer with 2,000 reviews, he will marry her!
1. Chapter 1

Dragonmage27: I was on the subway home from school after a bad day, and my best friend and this idea just began to grow. Despite my ever-growing pile of schoolwork, I feel I need a little stress reliever. And hence, let this story unfold itself.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bakuman, or fanfiction, or  
Warning: Do not be offended. This is also unedited; correct version will be posted once available.

**Fanfiction: A Bakuman Parody**

* * *

_Daisuke rubbed his eyes faintly, it was difficult to not stare at the new girl. Standing before him was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Her soft brown locks cascaded down her shoulders till it reached her lower back. She was slender, but not too thin. Her eyes were light brown, and her lips pursed into a cute pout. Her face seemed to glow even though the slightest blush colored her face. She felt uncomfortable standing before the class. Yamazaki-sensei gestured for her to take a seat._

_Daisuke clenched his fist together nervously when she began to approach him – or more so, the empty seat beside him. "Excuse, is this seat taken?"_

"_Oh…n-no!-"_

"Excuse me, may I borrow a pencil?"

Mashiro slammed his notebook shut, and jerked up his head. "W-what?"

And then he blushed deeply when he saw the girl he was just describing in great detail standing before him. When she saw him stutter, Azuki lowered her eyes shyly. "May I borrow a pencil from you?"

Numbly, he nodded. As he handed it to her, he almost fainted from a heart attack when their fingers brushed. Azuki's face turned deep red, and she quickly turned around to sit back in her seat. "Thank you," she said softly.

Mashiro let out a weak 'your welcome', before putting his hand over his heart. It beat so fast, he was sure he was about to have a heart attack. Not only had he spoken to her in real life, their fingers had touched! Besides the excitement, Mashiro tried to ignore the lingering fear – what if she had seen what he was writing? Would she hate him for using her in his stories?

* * *

"Darn, I left my notebook at school. Mom, I'm going out!"

Mashiro quickly went back to his classroom, only to find out that it was already occupied, by Akito Takagi, the straight-A star student of his class. More importantly, Takagi was sitting on top of his desk, flipping languidly through his notebook. Mashiro's face paled. _Shit, he knows my secret_.

Takagi closed the book. "Don't look so serious, Mashiro. It's not like I caught you hiding porn in your notebook."

Mashiro reddened slightly; some of his stories could not exactly be rated K+. "What are you doing with my notebook?"

Takagi shrugged nonchalantly. "I sit in the back. I saw you writing a love story. You have talent."

"You saw what I wrote from three seats away?"

Takagi's eyes seem to shine with mirth behind his glasses. "I'm not number one in class for no reason." He flipped the pages until he reached the most recent writing entry. "I know you like Azuki Miho. And I know she likes you too."

Mashiro narrowed his eyes, "we barely talk in class."

"Trust me, I can tell. But don't worry; I'll keep your secret."

"Fine," Mashiro reached out his hand for his book, but Takagi pulled it away.

"On one condition though."

_I knew it_, though Mashiro. "What do you want?" _Stay away from Azuki? Fine, not like we talk much anyway._

"A collaboration between us." Takagi gave him a devious smile. "I want you to be a fanfiction writer!"

* * *

"_I want you to be a fanfiction writer!"_

Mashiro chuckled humorously as Takagi's works reverberated in his mind. It was silly, it was preposterous! But it would not stop haunting him.

But a new email alert popped up and he clicked it.

"Hey Mashiro, how was your day? I had a good time during lunch today, and I managed to shoot the ball in P.E. today. I'm really nervous about the test tomorrow. Did you start studying yet? Also, thank you for the pencil. I'll return it to you tomorrow. –Azuki"

Mashiro smiled when he read the email. Even though Azuki and he rarely talked to each other in class, they were really close on the internet. They would email each other every day after school, and her email was something he looked forward to every time he came home. He began to quickly type out his reply.

"Hey Azuki, I had a really weird day. Well, weirder than when I got hit in the face by the ball. Wow! You managed to shoot it, that's really good! I have trouble aiming. Nope, I didn't start yet. I'm a bit worried though. No problem, return it anytime you want. -Mashiro"

Mashiro's mouse hovered over the send button until he sighed, and added to the end of the email, "P.S. Do you mind if I ask you something weird?" He pressed send.

A few minutes later, her response arrived. "Weird? What do you mean? Awww…are you okay? Does your face still hurt? Don't worry! I'm still worrying over the test though. Thanks! I'll borrow it for the test tomorrow then. Maybe it'll give me luck! –Azuki P.S. Sure?"

_Mashiro laughed. "Very funny, Takagi. What about you then? What will you do?"_

"_I will be you beta reader!"_

"Haha…I'm not that great in math, but I hope you do well using my pencil 8) Okay…this may be strange but…hear me out. I...really enjoy writing fanfics. And Takagi (strange right?) just said he wanted me to post my stories, and he'll be my beta reader. I really don't know what to think. –Mashiro"

Her reply was almost immediate. "Wow…I never thought Mashiro was so…talented. I think you should go for it! If it's something you enjoy doing, don't hesitate…I also have confession. I'm really fond of role-playing. :O Don't tell anyone! I trust you with this secret XD –Azuki"

"_Mashiro, I want you to be one of the top writers on the internet. I know you'll be able to do it."_

"Don't worry! I'll keep your secret. But wow…that's really cool!" Mashiro tapped his keyboard lightly. Could he do it? "I have another confession. I…like you. I really like you."

Mashiro pressed send before he could change his mind. And he waited anxiously as the seconds crawled by. But when she didn't reply for almost ten minutes, he started getting scared. What if she hated him for it? What if she never wanted to talk to him again?

After another painstaking five minutes, his email alerted him. Mashiro dived for his mouse, but when he read the email, he almost threw his keyboard out the window. "HI. DO YOU HAVE ANGER MANAGEMENT PROBLEMS? THEN WE HAVE JUST THE RIGHT PRODUCT FOR YOU."

"NO! I DO NOT HAVE ANGER MANAGEMENT PROBLEMS!" he yelled back. And then he dragged himself to his bed, ready to mope under his blanket. When the email alerted him again, he tentatively opened it.

"………I like you too."

_HELL YES!_ Mashiro cheered. And as if someone had possessed him, his fingers began to type. "Let's get married, Azuki. I mean, not now. But … let's make a pact. If I can become a top writer on and you can become a famous role-player, let's get married. Love, Mashiro"

And off the email went. Another fifteen minutes passed, and Mashiro clutched in head in remorse. Why had he done that? Now he would have seriously scared her away.

And then her reply arrived.

"Okay :) But until we achieve our goals, we can no longer talk to each other via email. We can only talk face-to-face in class. Love, Azuki. P.S. If you agree, then do not reply to this email :p"

Mashiro's hands shook. It was done. She loved him back, and they were going to get married. But first, he needed to get a story with 2,000 reviews. It was time to find out Takagi's number and get brainstorming.

* * *

"You…what?"

"Azuki and I promised to marry each other if I become a top fanfic writer and if she becomes a famous role-player."

"You know that makes absolutely no sense at all? I'm glad you're going to be writing fics, but how are you going to support Azuki if you just write fanfics?"

"Don't worry Takagi, I'll figure it out. Besides, I had an uncle who was a fanfic writer."

Takagi raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? What happened to your uncle?"

"He died of pneumonia in his apartment because he couldn't afford health insurance." Mashiro grinned. "But it doesn't matter as long as I don't get sick right?"

Mashiro couldn't hide the radiant smile on his face. He was going to become a fanfic writer, he had a beta reader, and he was going to marry the girl of his dreams.

Things were going to be _perfect_.

* * *

Next Chapter – Mashiro dives into the heart of fanfiction writing: the Naruto Fandom. Also, encounters with a moderator?! Takagi also gets a fiancé?!


	2. Chapter 2

Dragonmage27: Will this story be the one I write when I am feeling down? It seems I only update when I feel trodden down and depressed. Perhaps unhappiness breeds humor.

Disclaimer: In addition to the declaration in the previous chapter, I also do not own Naruto, Harry Potter or Twilight. Or floppy disks. Actually, wait. I do.

Note: Because all hyperlinks are not allowed in the story, every time fanfictionDOTnet is mentioned, I will call it FFN.

**Chapter Two

* * *

**

"Why are we here, Mashiro?"

Takagi stepped into the empty apartment behind his new partner and raised an eyebrow. When Mashiro mentioned a new 'environment' for their newest partnership and worksite, he had not expected an apartment. At least that was more furbished.

The room was very Spartan; a single computer atop a desk with two semi-comfortable chairs, and boxes that were piled high from floor to ceiling was all he could see.

"This was my uncle's studio." Mashiro seemed to be reading some of the faded writing on the labels of the boxes. "I managed to convince my dad to move the extra computer in our house here."

"Your uncle?" Takagi looked around and suppressed a shiver; the room felt unusually drafty all of a sudden. "Are you sure we can be here?"

Mashiro smiled brightly. "Of course, I asked my mother for permission. When she asked what I was doing, I said, 'I need to win the love of my life' and she gave me the key without further questioning." Mashiro's grin grew further, "My uncle wrote hundreds, no maybe thousands, of fanfics before he passed away. And he's very organized too."

Mashiro yanked out a box and lifted the lid. What was revealed was dozens and dozens of floppy disks. Takagi stared at them unimpressed. Crouching down, he grabbed a stack of the floppies and read through the labels briefly: Moomin , Future Boy Conan, Anne of Green Gables, Doraemon, Fisherman Sampei. He didn't know half of these anime.

Takagi sighed and stood back him. Then he turned to walk towards the door, "I'll be right back."

Mashiro called out, "Where are you going?"

With a dry voice, Takagi replied, "Out to buy a floppy disk drive."

* * *

"Wow," Takagi exclaimed. Though floppy disks only stored a miniscule amount of memory, word documents were fairly small. And Mashiro's uncle was indeed organized. Every story had its outline, first draft, second draft, beta-d version and eventually the final version. Takagi skimmed the file with fascinated eyes, and whispered, "So this is what an outline looks like?"

Mashiro stared. "Haven't you ever written an essay before? Aren't you the star student of the class?"

Takagi gave him a look. "But this is a _fanfiction_ outline."

"I don't see a difference."

"Shut up."

* * *

"Okay! Okay! I'm really excited," Takagi almost bounced on the balls of his feet. "Let's get started. What are you going to write? What do you like writing? Romance like what you wrote in class?"

Mashiro's face flushed. "No! That's only because it was Azuki's character. I like masculine more."

Takagi grinned, "Good, because I don't like to beta-read about sex, rape, abortion, pregnancy or crap like that."

"That sounds like shoujo manga," Mashiro replied sourly. "What fandom should we write in?"

Takagi shrugged, "What's popular? Since our goal is to become a top-notch fanfic writer in the shortest time possible, we should write in the most popular fandom to get the most reviews."

Mashiro nodded and started a search, "Let's see…currently the most popular fandoms are…Harry Potter, Naruto and Twilight."

Hearing the last one, their faces blanched. Vampires and werewolves were entertaining, but not when involved in a love story between a seventeen-year-old girl.

"So…Harry Potter and Naruto?" Mashiro asked. "Which one should we choose?"

Takagi contemplated for a long while before he finally said, "Answer this. A scrawny abused wizard who defeated the darkest wizard of all time with the power of his mother's love and a neglected orphan who has a demon fox sealed into his stomach by his father, in a fight, who would win?"

* * *

_The running never seemed to change anything. No matter where he ran, Naruto was never able to escape the glaring eyes that followed him. He didn't understand why they hated him. 'I didn't steal nothing from you,' six year old Naruto had cried when the man who sold clothing started beating him up. He pleaded for help, but the one the villagers helped was the man. 'Nothing? You stole my whole family from me!' the man snarled, and Naruto could only curl up and hope that the beating would end soon._

_Naruto knew that he should not always rely on the kind Hokage, but he couldn't help but feel bitter. If the man's statue was always looking down at his village, then how could he allow this to happen to Naruto? Did the old man secretly hate him too?_

"_What are you doing?" cried a small voice, and slowly the fists stopped raining down on Naruto._

_Naruto tried to peer through swollen eyes to see who had saved him, and saw the face of an angel. She was young like him, and seemed drowned in her purple kimono. The most exotic feature was her eyes. They were pale lavender and didn't have irises. He wanted to thank her, but when he opened his mouth, only blood was coughed out._

"_Here, come with me."_

_Naruto looked on in shock as she extended her small hand to him. With trembling hands, he reached for hers, but a strong slap sent him sprawling onto the floor._

"_Demon! How dare you try to touch the heiress of the Hyuuga!"_

_The girl scowled and stood a bit taller. "I am the heiress of the Hyuuga clan and I choose to help this boy! Who are you to tell me what to do?" She bent down and helped Naruto get up. "Come with me."_

_Naruto remembered she constantly talking to him, but the pain overpowered her voice and by the time they reached her home, he had fallen unconscious. Though he was sure someone had stayed beside him the entire time, the room was empty when Naruto woke up. The room was dark, and Naruto heard a faint whispering outside._

"_Hiashi-sama, what should we do with the demon Hinata-sama picked up? I've been watching the demon the past few hours, but he will wake up soon."_

_A sigh. "Hinata is too kind-hearted to lead our clan. Where is she now?"_

"_With Hanabi-sama in the gardens."_

"_Before Hinata comes back, kill this demon. Dispose of his body somewhere in the outskirts of the village. Do not get caught."_

"_Yes, Hiashi-sama."_

_But when the Hyuuga entered the room, he discovered that Naruto had already disappeared.

* * *

_

"What do you think?"

Takagi read over the story deeply before he finally looked up at Mashiro. "A Naruto-runaway story huh….it's pretty good."

Mashiro nodded, "Yeah, those seem really popular on the site. Especially with Naruto and Hinata. And then later one he'll probably meet up with Gaara or Itachi or Haku or Kimimaro."

Takagi nodded, "I approve of this. Let's go post this on FFN." And then he paused. "Oh wait, we need an account."

"So we need a username?"

"Yeah."

"How about _whatiwilldoforlove?_"

"How about not?" Takagi replied smoothly, "Let's have an alias that will reflect both of us. We can combine our names together. Ashirogi Muto."

"Ashirogi Muto, huh," Mashiro thought it over, and eventually agreeing with it. "Okay, so how do we upload a story?"

Takagi pushed his glasses closer to his face and started to navigate the site. "First we have to accept the guidelines, and then upload it with the document manager, and finally we can post it as a new story. What should we call this fic?"

"Love and Vengeance," Mashiro says abruptly.

Takagi raised his eyebrow at the cliché-ness, but typed it nevertheless. "Summary shall be… 'Naruto never knew a bright moment in his life until he was rescued from death by the Hyuuga heiress. But the hatred towards him was too strong and Naruto leaves the village. Years later, revenge takes him back to Konoha, and back to Hinata."

After choosing all the specifications of the story, Takagi took a deep breath, and clicked the button. Simultaneously, both fanfic writer and beta reader grinned at each other. They had published their first story!

* * *

_Refresh._

_Refresh._

"We need nicknames, Mashiro."

"We already do. Ashirogi Muto."

_Refresh._

"That's our penname _together_. We need individual aliases."

"Why? Can't we just use Mashiro and Takagi?"

_Refresh._

"Of course not, it's the internet. We'll get tracked down and stalked and dragged into a back alleyway and quartered and drawn."

"Really."

_Refresh._

"Okay, so Mashiro, you will be Saiko."

"What? Fine, you will be Shujin?"

_Refresh._

"Like husband? Does Azuki know?

"_TAKAGI!"_

_Refresh._

"I'm just kidding. Saiko and Shujin are both different readings of our names, so that's fine."

_Refresh._

"What are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"No, not really."

"I'm checking for reviews."

"Oh."

* * *

The following day at school, Mashiro trembled nervously as he approached Azuki. Once he neared he, he coughed hesitantly until he gained her attention. He was lucky she noticed quickly, or the teacher would have thought he had asthma.

She blushed. "Mashiro."

He blushed. "Azuki." He ducked his head and then blurted out, "TakagiandIwroteourfirststoryandpostedit. Iwouldbereallyhappyifyouwouldreadit."

Azuki blinked and then smiled shyly, "Of course."

Mashiro blinked, "You understand me?"

She turned away in embarrassment and murmured softly, "I always understand you."

They blushed.

Watching them from across the room, Takagi felt like running his head into a wall. They had a long way to go before they could get married.

* * *

**Six Reviews**

Review No. 1: Oh my gawwwwwwwwwwwwd! This is amazing!!! I can't wait! What is going to happen next?! Please update soon!

Review No. 2: Update soon!

Review No. 3: Why is Hiashi so evil?

Review No. 4: Hinata is WAYYY TOO OUT OF CHARACTER!! DO YOU EVEN READ NARUTO?! YOU SUCK!!

Review No. 5: This is a pretty start. I look forward to reading more. Please continue.

Review No. 6. Please update soon.

* * *

Takagi finished reading the reviews and bit his lip slightly. They have come across their first obstacle, the bane of a fanfic writer: a flame.

* * *

Note: My very first fanfic was when I was nine and it was stored on a floppy disk by my brother. I just wanted to give tribute to that here.

Note 2: Shujin can mean husband in Japanese. But Mashiro does not use it in that sense.

Dragonmage27: I hope you enjoyed it. I had expected the humor to be a bit funnier, but I think my bad mood put a damper on things. Please review! It makes me happier.


End file.
